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WELCOME TO - DA WEB!
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COURTESY OF DanWorks 9t8
This site has had this many visitors -

This site is dedicated to.....

If you are easily offended i recommend that you SOD OFF!

If you are a normal person feel free to browse the rest of this site - (unless your name is Alistair Crust, because i've taken a lot of things from your website!).

Megga Web Info..

This is the part of the Megga Web which lets you know a little bit about what the site is....

This is a site for anyone with exceptional taste in.....
Women..
Music..
Video games..
and anything else i can think of........

That doesn't include Dirty pictures of naked men..... so if your into that type of thing. tough, i aint putting any in!

There will be a chance to e-mail me any pictures, comments, stories, etc.

Top Babe!

What's her name from steps.... (enter the competition if you can give her a name i.e. - Hot Legs etc.!).

Music Section!
VISITORS - 10 Favourite Tunes:

  1. Happiness Happening - Lost Witness (Trance)
  2. Changes - 2 Pac (Hip Hop)
  3. Ready or Not - Fugees (Hip Hop)
  4. For an Angel - Paul Van Dyk (Trance)
  5. 9pm (Till I Come) - ATB (Trance)
  6. Low riders - Pras (Hip Hop)
  7. Mysterious Times - SASH! (Dance)
  8. You know what I mean - Oasis (Indie/Rock)
  9. P.E. 2000 - Puff Daddy (Hip Hop)
  10. The Kids aren't alright - The Offspring (Alternate)
If you have any other suggestions for Top Ten Tunes - send them in and the top ten will be updated regularly.

The Competition!
If you know the name of 'The Top Babe' send it in to me....

If your name is the best; you will win -

A CRATE OF 24 BUDWEISER BOTTLES (or a postal check for their worth - if you prefer)..... AND YOUR PICTURE WILL BE DISPLAYED ON THE MEGGA WEB! AS THE KING OF THE WEB!

Names will be judged on October 17th 1999.

Films Section!

VISITORS - 10 Favourite Films!

  1. Shawshank Redemption - Tim Robins, Morgan Freeman.
  2. Enter the Dragon - Bruce Lee, Yung Seiz.
  3. Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels - Vinnie Jones, Dexter Fletcher.
  4. Bad Boys - Will Smith, Martin Lawrence.
  5. Blood Sport - Jean-Claude Van Damme.
  6. Aliens - Sigourney Weaver.
  7. The Terminator - Arnold Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton, Michael Biehn.
  8. Predator - Arnold Schwarzenegger.
  9. Lethal Weapon 4 - Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Chris Tucker, Jet Li.
  10. Pulp Fiction - John Travolta, Samuel L Jackson, Bruce Willis.
WARNING! VIEWING BEYOND THIS POINT - COULD CAUSE YOUR HEAD TO EXPLODE!
 

Well Known Sayings!

  1. THAT WOULD BE AN ECUMENICAL MATTER!! - Father Jack (TV Personality)
  2. I'M PISSED AND I'VE GOT A GUN! - Various Bank Robbers.
  3. DOH! - Homer Simpson.
  4. BEAUTY IS ON THE INSIDE! / IT'S PERSONALITY THAT COUNTS! - Ugly Birds who can't pull.
  5. YOU'RE ONLY AS OLD AS THE WOMAN YOU FEEL! - Billy Mack (Master Pervert).
  6. DON'T WORRY HE DOESN'T BITE! - Old Senile Women with big dogs.
  7. Lets Just Be Friends! - some thick Bird.
Excellent Insults!
  1. If I had a dog that looked like you, I would shave it's arse and make it walk backwards!
  2. Your Mumma is so fat that when she went to the beach everyone tried to push her back into the sea!
  3. I've come to realize that you don't have a big mouth after all......... You've just got a small head!
  4. Has anybody ever told you that you're really beautiful?................ well, that's because your not!
  5. You're Ugly Bugly!!!
  6. Aren't you a model?.... sure you are, I saw your picture in that magazine, you know! SCI- F I 's greatest monsters!

GEEK TESTER!!!

This is the all new geek tester - designed by DanWorks 9T9 (scientifically proven to work).

Print page bellow for test and answers.

    SOCIAL DETERMINER
    This questionnaire is part of a national survey being carried out by DanWorks International, to determine the social awareness of different countries. Please take the time to fill out these few questions!
    What is the name of the first Star Trek film? - _____________________________________________________
    Name the Teletubbies - ______________________________________________________________________
    What does the computer program C++ allow you to do?- ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________
    What colour socks should be worn with Dark Jeans? - BLACK or WHITE
    What company produces miniature "Space Marine" models - ________________________________________
    Which of the following is the odd one out? underline the appropriate -
    Ben Sherman / Armani / Gianni Vialli / Rockport / Ralph Lauren / Diesel.
    Why is it the odd one out? - ___________________________________________________________________
    What are your hobbies - ______________________________________________________________________
    Which is the most expensive beverage (per pint)? underline the appropriate - Carling / Fosters / Stella / Batemans / Boddingtons.
    What are the names of the "Chipmunks"? - ______________________________________________________
    THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME!
    ANSWERS
    Motion Picture (if correct = 1 point)
    Tinky Winky, Dipsy, La La, Poh. (if correct = 1 point)
    Create your own programs. (if correct = 1 point) if they go on to say about it being revolutionary add another 1 point.
    If they say WHITE add 2 points.
    If they say GAMES WORKSHOP or CITADEL add 1 point.
    If they don't underline Gianni Vialli add 2 points.
    If they got the previous question wrong add 1 point.
    Add 1 point for each of the following - Watching Sunset Beach, shagging sheep, solving maths equations for a laugh, I don't have any, going to Star Trek conventions.
    Add 1 point if they haven't underlined Stella.
    Add 1 point for each of the following - Alvin, Simon, Theodore.
    SCORING
    +15 points = KING GEEK ...... Anyone who gets a score this is either joking or severely sad!
    +10 points = GEEK ...... You need to be liberated.
    +9 points = SSSSSAAAAAAADD! .......... You make me sick (make your mind up)
    +8 points = ????? ....... It's hard to say, your not too sad but you still have geeky qualities.
    +7 points = NOT BAD ....... don't beat yourself up over it!
    +5 points = WAY HEY! .... I hope your hobby wasn't sheep shagging!
    1 point = BULL! .... Your faking this, don't you watch children's telly.
    TRY THE TEST OUT ON SOME PEOPLE YOU KNOW, IT IS SURPRISINGLY ACCURATE!
     
     
How to contact MEGGA WEB!

E-mail MEGGA WEB! on [email protected]
                                                Send pictures, stories, comments, answers .etc.

Other sites to visit

THE EXTREME-ZOMBIES FAN CLUB!
FHM HOT BIRDZ SITE 
Visit Da Web 2!Ah! Go On!

TSURC'S MASTERFUL WEB SITE!

The following story was taken from the LA Times! IT IS NOT A PISS TAKE!!!!!!

"In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to retrieve the gerbil," Eric Tomaszewski told bemused doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital.

  • Mr Tomaszewski, and his homosexual partner Andrew "Kiki" Farnum, had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong. "I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our gerbil, in," he explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted out "Armageddon," my cue that he'd had enough. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he wouldn't come out again, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him."
  • At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what happened next. "The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame shot out the tube, igniting Mr Tomaszewski's hair and severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out like a cannonball."
  • Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract.
  • > > -----------------------------------------------------------
  • O.K here's the top ten things that scared me the most in reading this story.
  • "I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum . . ." Ouch!!!
  • "So I peered into the tube . . ." Aaaaaahhhhhhh. I'm sorry, but that's like looking through a telescope into hell. I'd rather use binoculars to stare at the sun.
  • That poor gerbil (who obviously suffers from low self-esteem) being shot out of the guy's anus like Rocky the Flying Squirrel on Rocky & Bullwinkle.
  • Suffering a broken nose from a gerbil being launched out of someone's anus. I'm just guessing, but I seriously doubt said ger bil was springtime fresh after his little journey into Kiki's "tunnel of love."
  • People walking around with these volcanic-like pockets of gas in their rectums.
  • People who do this kin d of thing and then admit what they were doing when taken to the emergency room. Sorry, but I think I would have made up a story about a gang of roving, pyromaniac, anal sex fiends breaking into my house and sodomizing me with a charcoal lighter before I admitted the truth. Call me old fashioned, but I just can't imagine looking at a doctor and saying "Well doc, it's like this. See we have this gerbil named Raggot and we took this cardboard tube..."
  • "First and second degree burns to the anus". Wouldn't this make the burning itch and discomfort of hemmoroids a welcome relief? How does one ever take a healthy poop after something like this? And the smell of burning anus must be in the top five most horrible scents on the face of God's green earth.
  • People named "Kiki" which is obviously a Polynesian word for: "Idiotic white men who insert rodents up their butts."
  • What kind of a hospital would hold a press conference on this?
  • This happened in Salt Lake City. What kind of people are those Mormons? I'm starting to get a whole new image of the Osmond family.